Ode to Ryanair

Oh wait. Just kidding. I HATE THEM.

So like I said earlier, leaving for London tomorrow. Today after class that ended at 3 I met Seamus and his wife Beatrice for "afternoon tea" at the Spanish Arch Hotel which one of his niece's runs who I was also able to meet. Silly me to expect tea for afternoon tea. Instead we had a pint/wine and then went out to dinner and had more wine. I didn't get back until 8 because we had such a lovely time. If I had to describe Beatrice with one word it would be Sassy. My kind of woman.

HOWEVER since I was being wined and dined I missed checking in online and printing my boarding pass with the rest of the girls. Since Beatrice is such a standup gal she drove me home so I could get my passport and then drove me back to school so I could use the printer. Of course I don't know how to use the computer/printer/machine you use to put credit on your account to print things so I asked the person standing nearest to me if I could just pay them if they signed in and let me use their account. Marissa is also a stand up gal and we walked all over campus trying to find open computers and she wouldn't even take the money I owed her! Granted it was 20 cents but still. A stand up gal.

HOWEVER maybe it was the pint/winewinewinewine/chocolate cake Seamus and Beatrice insisted I had or maybe it was the SLOW AS MOLASSES computers in the computer labs at school but by the time I checked in online and printed my boarding pass I realized that my nationality is listed as Uzbekistan. UZBEKISTAN. You can imagine the wave of PANIC that came over my body. I was so panicked that I broke out into a cold and DAMP sweat, the kind that makes people around you look at you all bewildered and ask if you're okay, but I didn't even CARE because I was so panicked. Because Ryanair, the bane of my existence, charges you up the you know what for god knows what. For example, they charge you 100 euro if your name on your boarding pass if different than on your passport.

So lets imagine what will happen when my passport says my nationality is United States of America and my boarding pass says I'm Uzbekistan. A) I'm charged 100 or more euro. B) I'm deported. C) I'm jailed in a foreign country for stealing my own identity and then years from now appear on the National Geographic Show "Locked Up Abroad" which usually features people who try smuggling some kind of drug into a country and then are locked up in said country for a ungodly amount of years. Don't they realize at this point that smuggling drugs never ends well? or D) Have to take the bus back to Galway which after talking with Seamus and Beatrice wouldn't be THAT bad because this weekend they and their (and I guess my) extended family are going to their weekend home right on the water for a cousin's birthday/horse race/rugby match/party in their local pub.

Of course I tried calling costumer service to explain and try to check in again and print out a boarding pass that says my correct nationality, but naturally they were closed.

Jamie Fox was right when he sang "blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol." Or maybe its more accurate to say blame it on Ryanair's DUMBO policies. Or on computers that freeze up. Or maybe I should just blame it on the alcohol. Can't be too sure these days.